A fear of heights and the edge is not a fear of Death. It is a fear of Life, of living beyond your comfort and the safety of what you know.When I look down the valley my heart trembles, a mild excited anxiety, it is a lack of breath, forgetting to breathe, the drop is so deep, the bottom so far.
My fear is one of trust...do I trust myself not to throw myself over or to miss my footing and plummet to my death, falling...falling, body hanging gnarled and broken on the trunk of a tree half way down, my skull battered blood red on rocks.
But do I trust you Mountain? Do I trust you to keep your form and not crumble beneath my feet, to let me stand and look at the view that fills my heart and body with an awesome peace. Do I trust this relationship we are having Mountain? Can we live together? If I open my heart to you Mountain will you honour or crush me?
|illustration drawn on the Wanderers Retreat at EcoDharma e.macairt|
Gently I open up to the possibility that I can trust myself to be this close. I can trust the Mountain to hold my weight, to support me. I no longer need to make myself smaller or compromise my experience for fear or lack of confidence.
"in that way I mirror you Mountain"